A EULOGY

I just came to the realization that my two favorite television comedies have come to equally tragic, yet entirely opposite, ends.  One, though incredibly witty and ingenious, was underrated and canceled before its time. The other, also incredibly witty and ingenious at its inception, has been so well loved that it has continued for years, finally reaching the point where its spark, its fresh twist on comedy, has faded. The show of which I speak is actually still on the air, but I am not alone when I say that it's glory days are long gone. I'd like to commemorate these shows with a short eulogy. However, since the last time I wrote a eulogy was in the 8th grade for a goldfish of mine who committed suicide (RIP Snowy), I sought the internet for some guidance on formatting and topics to mention. After some searching, the internet did provide me with a formatting tool to use for these eulogies, so here we go...

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

An aspiring actor once said “I just blue myself”.

Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over - an analyst and a therapist. The world's first analrapist.

If you recognized that quote, then the TV comedy "Arrested Development" has touched your life. It was the most simultaneously horrifying and hilarious television show I've ever seen. Though, judging from the show's cancellation years ago, It seems that many of you may not have agreed in time to save it from its untimely demise. 

Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money... 

LIFE

Arrested Development was first aired on November 2nd, 2003 on the FOX network. It was the brainchild of Mitchell Hurwitz and James Valley, with music composed by the lovely David Schwartz. The show ran for a total of 3 seasons (22 episodes, 18 episodes, and a final 13 episodes), and was canceled in 2006.

I'm half machine, I'm a monster!!!

CAST and STORYLINE

Jason Bateman starred as young businessman Michael Bluth, son of George Bluth Sr. (Jeffrey Tambor), executive of the Bluth company. When George Bluth Sr.'s shifty accounting practices are discovered by authorities, the family's extensive assets (or, in reality, the company's assets) are frozen. Michael becomes determined to hold his family together and rebuild the company which his father destroyed. Everyone in the family begins to panic at the loss of access to company money, causing obnoxious amounts of dysfunction amongst the Bluth's. Michael and his awkward son, George Michael (Michael Cera), must continue to live in the attic of the Bluth model home, rather than venture for a place of their own. George Bluth Sr. is sent to prison, and his neurotic wife is left to live at the family penthouse with her son Buster (Tony Hale), whose personality has been reduced to that of a bumbling child thanks to his mother's debilitating grasp upon every aspect of his life. Michael's second brother, the self-proclaimed magician "Gob" (Will Arnett), shifts between living on the family yacht and Michael's pseudo-home. Micheal's materialistic and vain twin sister, Lindsay (Portia de Rossi), finally returns from her longtime absence, towing her pathetically delusional husband, Tobias (David Cross), and her rebellious daughter, Maeby (Alia Shawkat). Michael's frustration at the family's lack of motivation and obliviousness to their financial situation cause him to constantly question, as he attempts to turn his siblings into productive members of society, whether the family and the company are worth saving.

That's all I've ever wanted from you, Daddy- for you to spend money on me.

An UNFORTUNATE and UNTIMELY DEATH

Okay, so I don't have access to actual statistics for these things, so most of this section is ripped off of the Wikipedia page. 


The show, while critically acclaimed, did not gain a sizable audience. U.S. ratings in the second season averaged about six million viewers, while the third season averaged about four million viewers. It can be speculated that much of the issue of audience size (0r lack thereof) was due to both cutbacks on the part of FOX and to poorly scheduled air times. Fox announced that it would halt the production of the second season at eighteen episodes—four episodes short of the planned season, in order to make time for Family Guy. The show's writers parody this in the episode "Sword of Destiny", which aired in March 2005. In the beginning of the episode, Michael complains that the Bluth Company's order to design and build 22 homes has been cut down to 18 homes. Then, in the third season, Fox positioned the show at 8:00 p.m. ET/PT and 7:00 p.m. CT/MT, directly opposite Monday Night Football in the Mountain and Pacific time zones. Ratings were (not surprisingly) even worse than previous seasons. On November 9, 2005, Fox announced that the show would not be airing in November sweeps, and that they had cut the episode order for the third season from 22 to 13. Fox ended up showing the final four episodes in a two-hour timeslot—directly opposite the opening ceremonies of the 2006 Winter Olympics. The finale received only 3.3 million viewers. 

The media has him out to be some sort of mastermind, which believe me he's not. The man can barely work our shredder. 

AWARDS

Since the show's inception, Arrested Development was critically acclaimed. In 2004, Michael Hurwitz won an Emmy in the Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series category for the pilot episode. Then, in 2005, Jason Bateman won a Golden Globe for Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy, and Michael Hurwitz and James Valley won an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series, for the episode "The Righteous Brothers." Arrested Development also won recognition from less well-known award distributors, including the American Cinema Editors, the Casting Society of America, Satellite, TV-Land, the Television Critics Association, and the Writers Guild of America. The show was nominated for countless awards, not only for quality of writing and acting, but also for filming and editing. 

It's bring-your-daughter-to-work-day. And unless you've got a daughter I don't know about, I'm your girl.

MOMENTS

I am one of those people who did not come to love the series until after its passing. I know your pain. However, I choose to rejoice in those moments that make the show so much fun to relive again and again...

• Tobias and his cutoffs...
• THERE'S ALWAYS MONEY IN THE BANANA STAND!!!
• Barry Zuckerkorn...being Barry Zuckerkorn
• Mr. Manager?
• I've made a huge mistake.
• Gene Parmesan!!!
• Annyong.
• Ann?
• Chicken calls.  COOKOH COOKOH ... CHAWCHEECHAWCHEECHAW ... ACOODLEDOODLEDOO ... and so forth.
• Justice is blind.
• Mi Hermano?
• STEVE HOLT!
• Cornballer!
• No Touching!
• Bob Loblaw. 
• Say what you want about America, thirteen bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice! 

Arrested Development, we love you.

Even though this show has already reached its end, there is hope for the future. Let there be an Arrested Development movie!!! I do not get out much. If you see that there are plans for the movie to actually be executed, please tell me! It would make my day.

This is what I call beauty.

...and now for part two...

THE OFFICE

An infamous young prankster once said: "Fact. Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica."

We didn't play many video games in Scranton. Instead we'd do stuff like.. uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it... Pretendinitis.

I know what you are thinking, and yes, I did in fact steal the name for my blog from Jim Halpert, a character on the NBC comedy the Office. This show has brought me years and years of entertainment, and I am better for it. Much of the population has come to appreciate the parody, and its popularity has continued to drive the show forward. Now, it can be confidently said that the show is likely reaching its conclusion after the 8th season, the series seems to be ending with a fizzle, and not the bang I had anticipated and hoped for. Granted, the last episodes of the most recent series attempted to rekindle the old spark with witty Jim-Dwight banter and general office awkwardness, I don't feel that continuing on this current path is going to be enough to give it a clever ending.

It's simply beyond words. It's incalculacable.

LIFE

The Office as we know it was created and first aired in 2005, and is based off of the BBC hit of the same title. The series just completed its seventh season, and is scheduled for another, despite the departure of its star.

Okay, just so I understand it. In your wildest fantasy, you are in hell and you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.

CAST AND STORYLINE

If you've watched NBC at all in the past few years, you've probably caught at least one episode of the Office. Based in the real-life hustling and bustling (haha) Scranton, PA, the series revolves around typical days in the lives of employees at the Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company. The mechanic of the show is that a camera crew has decided to film the ins-and-outs of the office, and as such, the camera and its crew are often acknowledged by the cast. The plot largely stays the same over the seasons, with minor plot twists which lend some transition to major changes on the show (such as Steve Carell's departure at the end of the 7th season). Much of the storyline remains consistent between episodes: employees attempt to do business while being distracted largely by their dunce of a boss, Michael Scott (Steve Carell). Other eccentric coworkers include Dwight Schrute (Rainn Wilson), a delusional, farm-raised, socially inept fright of a salesman; Pam Beesly (Jenna Fischer), a shy but otherwise socially acceptable receptionist/saleswoman; Jim Halpert (John Krasinski), a prankster and all around LOVABLE (seriously, I have a major crush) salesman, as well as rival to Dwight; Angela Martin (Angela Kinsey), an extremely rude, stiff, prickly woman, and so forth. Jim constantly pesters Dwight, to which Dwight makes laughably feeble attempts at counterattack. Pam and Jim have a slow, climbing  relationship, eventually culminating in their marriage and parenthood in later seasons. Michael moves through numerous relationships, Angela frets about any behavior to speak of from the other employees, Meredith (Kate Flannery) frequently makes horrifying realizations about her sexuality aloud to her coworkers, Kevin Malone (Brian Baumgartner) makes a serious case for the theory that he could be mentally handicapped, etc. 

If you were driving a Trans Am, you would be the smartest idiot in the whole world.

A SLOW, CREEPING AND LAMENTABLE DEMISE

Initially, the show was met with skepticism by critics. The first season hailed comments of its inferiority to its BBC predecessor. After the second season, critics began to see the differences between the two shows, and recognize the American version as not a remake, but an interpretation of the original. 

The Office also had more luck with viewers than did Arrested Development. On its premiere night, the series caught 11.2 million viewers. However, after its time slot was moved to Tuesday nights, its viewer numbers were halved. After the second season began, the show gained popularity due to simultaneous release of Carell's hit "the 40-Year Old Virgin," and was moved back to Thursday night on NBC. For many seasons, the series maintained roughly 8 million viewers, though it is worthwhile to note that after season four's high of nearly 10 million viewers, viewership dropped down to the high 7 millions by the fifth and sixth season. The show's popularity is dominated by those within viewers between the ages of 18 and 49, and it has been steadily climbing to its current #53 for the 2010-2011 television season. 


Overall, the show has done extremely well over the years, and has earned its popularity. However, personally, I feel that the spark which prevailed from the first season to (arguably) the fifth has been lost over time. The jokes have the same ridiculous charm, but they don't tickle us as they used to. Something's gone missing.

Ultimatums are key. Basically nobody does anything for me unless I threaten to kill myself.

AWARDS

The Office has been recognized for its quality since the very beginning. In 2006, individual actors as well as the show won a total of 6 awards, including a Golden Globe (Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series-Musical or Comedy...Steve Carell) and an Emmy (Outstanding Comedy Series). In 2007, the show won an amazing total of 12 various awards, including a Screen Actors Guild (Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series), and many prestigious awards for filming and editing from a number of sources. In 2008, the show won a Golden Globe for Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series. 

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundees are like a car wreck that you want to look away from but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you. 

MOMENTS

• Angela's cat...and the Freezer
• Michael CANNOT drive the Baler
• Poor Toby.
• Whoever...or Whomever??
• That's what she said.
• You CAN buy Gaydar online!
• Meredith.
• Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies.
• Call of Duty!

There really are too many seasons for me to sum up my favorite moments in a few bullets. Seriously, there are so many of them.

The office, I will always love you. You made me love to watch television! You were the only show I consistently watched in High School. I own four of your seasons now, and hope to own them all. I respect you so much, but it might be time for you to go. It's time to let go.

Such class.

SUMMER DREAMS, RIPPED AT THE SEAMS

Summer's coming to a swift close. I dislike it. I think I'm finally realizing how close I am to starting school again...seriously, I MOVE BACK TO BG IN TWO WEEKS. Talk about a freak out moment.

Andy, over fourth of July weekend, at his lake house

I've been having a wonderful summer at home. I've been able to work more than in any summer previous, I've spent a lot of time with my family, and I've had many great times with my friends and boyfriend. Overall, I would say this was a great summer, albeit a bittersweet one: this is the last summer I'm going to have "free" from education or a "real" job. If I play my cards right, that is. I can't say that I'll want to have a "free" summer after this whole grad school thing is over; I bet you anything, I will want to be able to actually do what I will have studied for 6 years. And get paid for it (though not much to begin with, or so I've been told. Ah well, one must pay her dues at some point).

Becky and me at the Harry Potter Part 7 (Part 2) Premiere

I still have a few more weeks to have fun, though, which I plan to savor. I'm spending some time with my amazing friend Becky, who is moving to NJ to be a first grade teacher come fall! I'm so proud of all of her hard work, but it's going to be sad to see her go. I mean, she and I have never experienced higher education near one another (for undergrad she attended Liberty University, and I Bowling Green State University of Ohio), but for her to have a real job and real time commitments and real work will make it much harder for us to see one another, I have a feeling. Thank goodness for technology. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have a Facebook, a cell phone and a laptop computer. Seriously. Talk about technologically spoiled, right? And I'm not even the worst.

Becky and some of my other friends seem to have been conspiring (or rather, obviously have been conspiring) to find out when me and my boyfriend are going to be married. They prod and poke and tweak at any opportunity. It doesn't matter who I'm talking with, someone has to bring it up! And they have a point, I realize. My boyfriend Andy and I have been dating for nearly four years now, so it makes sense that they wonder. And 'tis the season for weddings--

(WARNING: TIRADE APPROACHING)

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!! I swear, I have seen wedding pictures on Facebook from about 10 friends of mine in the past two months alone. SERIOUSLY!!?!?!?!?!?

This is what I look like when something boggles me.

Don't get me wrong, I completely understand how you can completely love someone else and want to do that whole "forever" thing with them. But we are so young! We have no real jobs! We don't make consistent money! Many of us are still in school, which means we have even less money than most other kids our age! Now, I come from a background where my parents were married when my mother was 30, so I have been educated about the benefits of waiting to get married. I realize others are educated differently, and come from different backgrounds, and that marriages between such couples have been successful time and time again (my boyfriend's parents, my godparents, and so forth). It has come to my attention recently that I do not feel the need to get married anytime soon, which is the basis for my feelings.

Can you see why I'm so crazy? These people.

Okay, I've cooled off, sorry about that!

Anyway, my friends are obnoxious and no matter how irritating it may be, I love them and know they mean well.

This summer has been one of reconciliations as well. For a while I had a falling out with one of my close friends, and it was pretty upsetting. Recently we've been speaking again, and this friend even apologized for the events which transpired between us. For the longest time I'd been telling myself "you have to be selective with friends...pruning the ones that are detrimental to your well-being and happiness isn't wrong"...but honestly, I feel much better about everything since we reconciled. Personally, I hate feeling that someone has ill feelings toward me. It's worth trying to make things better, in the end.

Someone walked through Jo-Ann's today with a young boy. I wasn't in the same aisle as they were, but I could hear the battle music from POKEMON playing on his Gameboy. I giggled. Loudly.

I officially turned in my two weeks notice at Jo-Ann's the other day. Sad day, but this is the best decision overall, since I'll be living in BG for the next two years, summers included. And I'm certain I'm not going to want to work there when I'm home for my scant breaks. Though it signals my time to go back to school, inside I can't help but count down until the my last day there. It's natural, I suppose...a door closing and another opening.

Well, it's my bedtime soon (seriously, when you have to wake up and be in to work by 6 AM, you end up messing up your life and going to bed at ridiculous hours). Maybe I'll post one of my running drafts tomorrow!  I am determined to make this blog lively again.

Tata, folks.