Grad School Update

I'm sure there are tons of people who want to know about my grad school decisions...haha. But I just thought I'd say what's going on at the moment.

I got into Bowling Green State University, Ohio State University and Ohio University. Thank goodness. It's nice to know that years of stupidly hard work has paid off. 

Now, I just have to pick.

I visited Ohio University the other day, and it was really nice. Athens is such a cute town, and the Grover Center (where the Speech and Hearing clinic is housed) is all new and very nice. I know it's probably dumb to take aesthetics into consideration in these kinds of decisions, but I really do feel like they make a difference on one's experience. So there's that. The faculty and students also seemed really nice and honest, which was nice as well. They answered a lot of our questions, which is also nice. 

I really need to make a spreadsheet of the pros and cons for each program. It seems like a good idea.

I'll be visiting Ohio State University next week, so I'll be able to talk more about the comparisons later on. I hope that I like it there, I would really like to be closer to family. However, I'll have to make the best decision for my education, not just my personal feelings.

Anyway, that's it so far! I have until April 15 to finalize my decisions, but I should probably make a decision before then, due to a lesser likelihood of funding by that point. 

I just feel so relieved...but terrified to pick at the same time. It's going to be crazy!

And now to continue watching Kelly play Heavy Rain...this game is cray-cray.




P.S.    As of April 12th, I've made my decision about grad school!  Next fall, I will be attending...
Bowling Green State University!
I'm really excited :) 

Spring Break Revelations

Life. It happens.

For example, sometimes people accidentally park in residential handicapped parking and get fined $500. 

But on a good note, I CAN HAS POKEMON WHITE  :)  :)  Thanks to Andy for a great birthday present!!! I loves my Tepig. 

Also, THECOOLTV is an awesome channel. If you have WOW cable, you need to tune in. This channel shows old music videos, like "China Girl" by David Bowie...which is a totally raunchy video, by the way. I've decided that I cannot live without seeing a Boy George music video, and this channel may very well be the means to that end. 

Near my house there is a little local park, which houses an old, dilapidated brick school from the early 1900's, and one of the hugest, most awesome trees of all time. A few days ago I found out that the roof of the Flint School had collapsed, and consequently, the entire building was going to be demolished. Apparently the cost of fixing the roof was too great, hence the choice to destroy one of the most mysterious and historical structures of my childhood. A fellow Park Shark took some of the pictures below. He shares my shock and disappointment in the turn of events, but reassured me that the builders intended to keep the entrance to the building preserved, like a memorial of sorts.

The front of the Flint School.

The side of the school, still relatively preserved.

And then I visited the park today, and saw this.

Sad day. We will always remember you. 

Tomorrow, I'll find time to write about your tree, which will also be fondly remembered...

One Year Older

I'm 22 today. 


I don't feel any different from yesterday, from last week, from last month.


On an unrelated note...LOOK, CORGIS!!!

...want.

We can Save PBS!!!

Recently some pretty infuriating budget cuts have been proposed by the United States Government. Some of these include a bar on Planned Parenthood federal funding, as well as the elimination of funding for public broadcasting systems (PBS). 

Please take a stand! Do some research, and sign petitions to make your feelings known to your congressmen and representatives! The links to each site are below.

Planned Parenthood

PBS

Word Vomit

So I just came to a few realizations today, as I was scanning my hands and elbows for an art homework assignment at the library. 

There's something you need to understand before I continue...in times of stress, I get very emotional. My emotions go crazy. Also, every emotion I express seems to have some kind of neurological connection to my tear ducts. So, I cry when I am mad, sad, frustrated, and so forth. It's frustrating, which only makes me cry more, when I reach that breaking point. I don't reach breaking points very often, just every few months (though they have been increasing in frequency since this school year began).

Lately I've been realizing that I have little to no control over my life. A lot of things have been springing up and causing me to stress out. Today someone asked me how I was doing, and I said, "hanging in there." Then, minutes later, I realized how depressing that is. 

Hanging in there...onto your own life? This thing that is yours, and that you control for the most part, can be altered so much by unforeseen factors that you end up "hanging on" to your own existence as you know it? Does anyone else find this horribly depressing?

Only one person in my major has consistently asked me how I have been doing recently, because she knows I haven't been doing well. I can never bring myself to tell her that there are things in my life that I just hate right now, and that I wish I could just end those parts...but that's impossible. It still is really touching that she keeps asking...and I guess it shows how transparent I am. Remember that thing above, where I said that my emotions go crazy? It turns out that I am also very bad at hiding these emotions. And, most unfortunate of all, I tend to displace my negativity upon others whom I care about...

Which brings me to my first apology of the day. 

There's something else you should know about me. For some reason, perhaps having to do with my upbringing (though there is no one incriminating incident, I only say this because so many aspects of our personalities have origins in childhood), I have a compulsive need to apologize constantly. It doesn't matter if I'm actually at fault for what happened, or if what happened could have been controlled at all. Generally, I mean it when I apologize, but I think most of my apologies stem from my deep desire to avoid displeasing others more than my actual feelings about the event. 

So, taking that into consideration, I really do want to apologize for a few things. 

Firstly, I'm sorry that I tend to take out my frustration, anger, and feelings of helplessness on the people that care about me the most. It's not fair to them, and as much as I think it's going to make me feel better at the time, it never does.

I'm sorry that I lie when you ask me how I am doing, and I tell you I'm fine. 

I'm sorry I don't remember things better. I swear my brain doesn't work...I have word retrieval problems constantly, and can't remember some of the most inane things sometimes. I find myself seeking forgiveness from others and myself for this every day. I think I'm borken.

Okay...I think that's enough sadness for now. I think I'll play some Banjo-Kazooie!!

Nuzlocke Challenge Standings

I know I seem to be posting a lot about Pokemon recently. And I'm fully aware that 95% of the people reading this are going to judge me instantaneously. The game really is more enjoyable and meaningful to adults who play (I am not going to defend why I love Pokemon...I am NOT going to defend why I love Pokemon...I do not need to defend why I love Pokemon...maybe the more I tell myself these things, the greater the chance they will be true), as it requires strategy , foresight and planning on the part of the player. 


Recently, I have decided to make the game unnecessarily difficult, and have restarted my Platinum game. I am adopting the two main rules of the Nuzlocke Challenge. In case you are lazy like me and don't feel like following that link to the Bulbapedia page (Bulbapedia is the Pokemon everything website and it is amazing), here are the three main rules...

• Any Pokémon that faints is considered dead, and must be released. 
• The player may only catch the first Pokémon encountered in each area, and none else. If the first Pokémon encountered faints or flees, there are no second chances.
• Also it is customary to give all of your Pokemon nicknames, to enhance your bond with them.

Basically, these rules take what is normally a fairly easy game (until the elite four), and turn it into a horrible massacre of death and frustration. It gives the entire game a different mood. If making a Pokemon kills that Pokemon, then think of all of the wild Starlies (plural?), Budews and Bidoofs (okay, nevermind about the Bidoofs. They are only useful as TM whores, so maybe there should be fewer of them.) that you are mindlessly slaughtering! Furthermore, think of all of the other innocent trainers whose quests to be the very best you are halting forever by killing all of their cherished Pokemon!


Okay, ranting aside, this game is hard. My philosophy of how to beat the game is, at this point, to grind incessantly until my Pokemon are super over-leveled for each gym, and hope for the best. I'm going to use this blog as a kind of memoir of the times I spend working my way through the challenge, documenting the Pokemon I catch and the Pokemon I inevitably part with. The Pokemon that die will be represented like this, as they have been released and are no longer within my party or in my boxes.

1. Route 201 (Starter Pokemon): Chimchar, named "Harry," Fire elemental type. His ability is Flash Fire, which gives a boost to fire-type moves. Since I obtained him, he has evolved into a Monferno, who has a Fire and Fighting dual elemental type.
2. Route 202: Shinx, named "Hermione," Electric elemental type. Her ability is Rivalry, meaning that her attack is boosted if her enemy is the same gender, and her attack is diminished if her enemy is the opposite gender. Since her capture, she has evolved into a Luxio, of the same elemental type.
3. Verity Lakefront: Bidoof #1, named "RitaSkeetr," Normal elemental type. Her ability is Simple, which means that any stat change she undergoes is doubled, and she both inflicts and takes quadruple damage when she makes a critical hit. Since her capture, she has evolved into a Bibarel, who has a Normal and Water dual elemental type.
4. Route 203: (I don't remember the place at which the next Pokemon was caught, as he perished before I started this blog. This placement may or may not be correct, but it fits, so there you go. It won't happen again!) Bidoof #2, named "QikQotsQil," Normal elemental type. His ability is Unaware, which ignores any stat changes in the rival, excluding speed. QikQotsQil perished as we were grinding for levels before the Oreburgh gym.
5. Route 204: Starly, named "Ron," Normal and Flying dual elemental type. His ability is Keen Eye, which prevents his accuracy stat from being lessened. Since I caught him, he has evolved into a Staravia, of the same elemental type. His ability changed to Intimidate, which cuts the attack stat of his opponent.
6. Oreburgh Gate: Zubat, named "Filch," Poison and Flying dual elemental type. His ability is Inner Focus, which prevents him from flinching.  Since his capture, Filch has evolved into a Golbat, and at level 23 he evolved into a Crobat!
7. Oreburgh Mine: Geodude, named "Fred," Rock and Ground dual elemental type. His ability is Rock Head, which prevents him from taking recoil damage from moves like Double-Edge. 
8. Route 207: Machop, named "Seamus," who is a Fighting elemental type. His ability is Guts, which raises his attack stat by 50% when he is inflicted with the status ailments Burn, Paralysis or Poison. 
9. Ravaged Path: Psyduck, named "Crabbe," who is a Water elemental type. His ability is Cloud Nine, which eliminates the effects of weather. Since his capture, I have renamed him "Neville."
10. Route 205: Buizel, named "Ginny," who is a Water elemental type. Her ability is Swift Swim, which boosts her speed in rain.
11. Eterna Forest: Budew, named "Luna," who is a Grass and Poison dual elemental type. Her ability is Poison Point, which may cause foes to be poisoned if they come in physical contact with her. 
12. Old Chateau: Ghastly, named "BloodyBarn" (there weren't enough spaces for me to write Baron...sadness...so please refrain from calling him a wounded storage unit for livestock!), who is a Poison and Ghost dual elemental type. ALSO HE HAS A MODEST NATURE!!! I'M SO EXCITED--THAT'S THE BEST POSSIBLE NATURE FOR A GENGAR :) Anyway, his ability is Levitate, meaning he's immune to all Ground-type moves.
13. ...Old Chateau...Event Pokemon: Rotom, named "NrlyHdlsNk", an Electric and Ghost dual elemental type. Its ability is also Levitate, giving it immunity to all ground type moves. Also he's technically genderless. (P.S. I know I really shouldn't have caught two in this area, but I'd never seen a Rotom and came across it without knowing it was present. You can only catch him on Monday nights, so you can imagine my surprise when I came across a Pokemon that I'd never seen before...so I slipped up and caught it. I won't do it again, I promise!

And here are the teams that got me through my battles...

• Oreburgh Gym, Roark and the Coal Badge: Harry, Ron, Hermione, RitaSkeetr, Seamus and Fred.
• Eterna Gym, Gardenia and the Forest Badge: Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and Filch. 

...To be continued! 






P.S.
I've stopped doing this challenge. I'm saving all of my good Pokemon and starting over, because the game just wasn't very fun anymore. Sad day!  But I commend anyone who has actually completed this challenge. Even in the short time that I participated, I realized how insane the challenge is, and if anyone has beaten the game while following the rules of the Nuzlocke...well...congrats. You are better than me!

Valentine's Day

So it's not exactly Valentine's Day, but this is the weekend in which I am celebrating it. I'm down in Columbus with my boyfriend, Andy, and we are having a great time. It's always great when we have time to get together, which ends up being around every 2 weeks or so. Right now, not so often, because both of us are super busy with school, but hopefully after March we will resume that schedule again. Anyway, I have been sitting here wondering what to do, as the boyfriend seems engrossed with Peggle at the moment, and then I got to thinking, "why don't I make a post about my boyfriend?" I know what you're thinking...you expect some rant about why he's the best boyfriend in the world and totally better than everyone else's. That's not what I want this to be...I want this post to celebrate all of the amazing times we've had together, and what he has been able to show and teach me throughout our 3 year relationship. So...here goes!

I know it's crazy, but I'm talking about the red one.

• Without Andy, it is highly unlikely that I would have come to enjoy half of the music in my collection today. He is my music filter...he loves searching for new bands and finding diamonds in the rough, and then he passes them right along to me. It's great to hear new and interesting varieties of music, and get a glimpse into his passion.
• Andy and I have maintained a long-distance relationship for the better part of 3 years now (not fully 3 years, though, as I come home in the summer. We live in the same area.), and it has taught me a lot about what you can logically expect from your significant other, as well as what you should appreciate. I try my best to love every minute I am with him (and usually that's easy), as I know they are few and far between, which is something that I don't think a lot of people who are in close quarters really understand after a while.
• If I had not dated Andy, I would never have had the chance to play through Portal without someone looming over my shoulder and telling me exactly what to do. He knows when he should be silent, which is great :)
• More and more each day I realize that his personality is very different from mine. He is very calm, while I tend to freak out and obsess over detail. I love that Andy is so calm, and can talk me down from any crazed and delusional emotional disturbance I may have. I don't even know how many times I have called him, crying my eyes out in stress and frustration, and he has consistently been able to both listen to my absurdities and bring the real me back again. His personality balances mine.
• Along the same lines, Andy has taught me that there are things in life that you cannot control. I tend to worry about things of which I am uncertain, like this whole graduate school thing, but he has also taught me that you can't worry about these things you cannot control, because it will just kill you in the end. It's not worth it.
• Had it not been for Andy's persistence, I would not have attended Lollapalooza in 2008 and again in 2010. Those were some of the most fun experiences we have had together.
• This sounds corny, but Andy has also taught me that every relationship has its ups and downs. We have had our rough spots, everyone does, but our downs are totally worth it when I think about the ups.
• Through the past three years, I have also come to learn (not through Andy, but because I am with him) that you have to constantly evaluate your relationships. If the best times in that relationship are not worth the time spent at odds with the friend, then it's best for you to let them go. It will save you time, effort, and sanity. Don't keep the friends you can't stand, or who don't bring anything to the table. It's not worth it. I have come out of this situation multiple times in the past few years, and Andy has been there to support me each time.
• I am fairly good at a lot of things, but I don't believe myself to be a master of any one trade. However, my previous experience of general success tends to cause me to be frustrated in instances when I try something new, or something that I am not practiced in, and do poorly. My boyfriend helps me to see that such frustration is stupid, and that you can't possibly the best at (or even good at, at that matter) everything. Though this is going to take some time and effort for me to accept, I see now that it is 100% true.
• Andy also opens my mind to questions about the world and how everything works. For example, had I not been with him, I probably wouldn't have come to the realization that I have no clue how record players actually make music, or I wouldn't have for a few years at least.

And now for some memories of us together and general thoughts...

• Our first date was seeing Superbad together at a dollar movie. It was an experience, that's for sure! Might not recommend that for a first date movie...
• I love his sausage fingers. They are bulbous and squishy and fun to hold. 
• I remember when I first met Andy, all he really did was quote Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I don't know what I saw in it, but something seemed to work!
• I love his taste in movies (and music too, for the most part).
• Andy's family has always been great, going out of their way to invite me to family functions and include me in whatever they do. It's like my family just doubled in size :)
• When we saw Toy Story 3 together, we both cried.
• I love his unkempt hair.
• Andy is super ticklish. It's fun...but he hates when I tickle him. He has destroyed many things by kicking violently in attempts to make me stop.
• I love his passion for music.
• Andy is always willing to try new things, which I love. He also tries to see the positive side of everything, which is refreshing and amazing.
• It always amuses me how after you're with someone long enough, you really don't act like a normal person around them anymore. You can be the idiot you really are, because they don't care and love you anyway. You can quote Marcel the Shell until the cows come home. You can scream "I'M IN THE BARN, MILLLLLK MEEEEE!!!!!" every time you are in the barn in Euchre. You can be clumsy and speak oddly and use terms of endearment until you run out of them, without the fear of your significant other punching you in the face. It's great.

That's all I've got for now, and I'm hungry, so I think I'm about done. 

So, I'm sorry if I've just caused you to seize out of mass exposure to needlessly cheesy information.  I hope this makes you feel better.

To all of those with a significant other, have a happy Valentine's Day! To everyone else, have a happy ramen shut-in day!