the Future

Since this fall, I have come to love Harry Potter in a way that I never anticipated. Since applying to graduate school, I have begun to find a personal connection with some of the words of wisdom which Dumbledore shares with students. 

The consequences of our actions are so complicated, so diverse, that predicting the future is a very difficult business indeed.  ~Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Before I begin, I feel there is some information that you need to better understand the situation. I am an undergraduate in Communication Science and Disorders, which basically means that I'm studying to become a Speech Language Pathologist. For those of you who haven't experienced an SLP before, watch The King's Speech. Though the techniques used in that movie aren't exactly the same as ones professionals use today, the movie will give you the general idea of how SLP's attempt to help others by improving their use of spoken communication. Speech Language Pathology is an awesome career, and it's the one that I hope to have someday. However, whether that actually comes to be depends upon whether I make it into graduate school, as SLPs are required a Masters' level education for their license. 

Applying for graduate school is very tedious and stressful, especially when you attempt to get all of your applications done WHILST having a full courseload. And, sadly, the proportion of students who apply for graduate schools and those who end up attending graduate school is just plain intimidating. For instance, last year at Bowling Green State University, where I attend, there were over 300 applicants for the graduate program, and the number of seats available is closer to 30. Let's just say that last year, I knew that quite a few (perhaps around half, if not more) of the girls in our major (our profession is 90% female, so I do not mean to sound prejudiced or anything) did not get in to any of their schools. As such, the advisors at my school suggested that most students apply to at least 5 schools, just to be safe. And the professors are frustrated with how stressed we are about getting into graduate school...just so you know, most of the CDIS professors that I have had during my undergraduate education at BG would not have made it into graduate school either, had the standards been so high when they were applying. Talk about intimidating...also, how unfair is that! I've never wished harder that I had been a flower child or something.

This is a photo I took on one of my most stressful days...I tried to really communicate how nothing in my life is certain anymore. And yes, those are D&D dice. Don't judge me!

It started as soon as I got back from summer break. I met with the other officers of the National Student Speech Language and Hearing Association (NSSLHA), and we discussed which speaker we would have for our first meeting. Traditionally, NSSLHA contacts first year graduate students at our university and asks them to come and share their words of wisdom about the application process for graduate school. Usually, the meeting turns out to be a stressfest, when most of the seniors begin taking ridiculously copious notes, and the first-year graduate students unload their frustration about the application process and how stressful life is in graduate school. Grads rant and rave about how they never have time for themselves, as being a successful graduate student is like having a 60 hour job. 

Thank you, Knives Chau, for having the exact expression I was looking for.

Basically, it's not the type of informational meeting you typically want to have. This year, however, a second year graduate student also joined the panel, and she had some of the most encouraging stories I've ever heard when it comes to applying to and experiencing graduate level education. She gave me hope...hope that I could get in and that everything will eventually not suck as hard as the first years seem to tell us. 

After that, all of the seniors started applying to schools in a panic. I was one of them. I applied to only three schools: the Ohio State University, Bowling Green State University, and Ohio University. Though this goes against what I said before (about being smart and applying to more schools than you can count without taking your socks off), I honestly feel like a different student than my peers. I am the only Honors student in my year, I have worked my ass off to keep a 4.0 GPA throughout my entire college career (both inside and outside my major), I am participating in research, am the NSSLHA treasurer this year, and I have made great relationships with many faculty members. I really don't mean to sound like I'm blowing my own horn, but these facts are what keep me from crying myself to sleep each night with worry. Plus, applying to just three schools was stressful enough...I don't know how the other girls do it. My main reason for applying to the schools that I chose is that I want to stay in Ohio, as ridiculous as that sounds. I've lived here my whole life, and though I do realize that so many other states have better economies and climates, right now all of the people I love, trust and can count on are here. Why would I walk away from that? 

I mean...how could I  leave this thing behind? 

Applying to graduate school basically has 6 parts per school (or stupid internet program used for the distribution of applications...I won't name names here, but I have a feeling that many girls in my major know exactly what I'm talking about). There's the application to the graduate program as a whole, which usually takes about half an hour to complete. Then, there's the application to the specific program, which takes considerably longer. Next, you need 2-3 academic letters of recommendation. Also, you need to send your transcripts to the graduate program you desire. Plus, you need to take a standardized test (in my case, the GRE), saying that you even have enough brains to handle graduate school (which I have a huge beef with). Finally, you have your personal letter of intent, in which you describe in detail why a) you are perfect for the university and b) why the university is perfect for you, etc. Oh, and all of this has to be received by your schools by sometime between December and February, depending. OH, and don't forget about your actual education on top of that. You are expected to be a successful full-time (in my case) student on top of all of this. Basically, for your fall semester of your senior year, you stress the fuck out and have no life.

And I'm pretty sure my eyes are permanently crossed now.
Not really.

I finished applying by Christmas (finding out that my apps had been sent on time was the best present EVER), and I won't know anything until mid March. I was just informed by one of my professors that our graduate application panel has not even begun to look at the masters level applications yet. What wonderful news...


So...and then you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait.........and then you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait and you wait!


Okay, enough of that. This is what I get for hanging around boys and tomboys nonstop. Anyway, maybe now you understand why I have been less than my happiest this year. Hopefully things will start looking up...my birthday's in 16 days, and then hopefully I'll be able to turn in my honors project, and then I'll be home free...


Here's to surviving until then!




It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.  ~Albus Dumbledore,  Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets